Schewanick Computer Services

Top 10 ways to sabotage your on line auction sales at eBay and other sites. Top list of things that buyers hate.
If you really hate buyers and want to ensure that they bypass your auctions and take their money elsewhere, then here are the best tips for you!
1. Set lengthy TOS (Terms of Sale) that take forever to read. Be sure to put them in the smallest possible font size. If the font color can be close enough to the background color to make the contrast poor, you get extra points for creativity.
2. Don't forget to make your TOS sound hostile and defensive. You should rake up every negative feedback or bounced check you've received in order to justify your stance. These people just gotta learn!
3. Accept only one form of payment. Never accept payment through one of those on-lines services and certainly refuse all personal checks. Demand payment within 5 days or threaten to leave negative feedback for the buyer ... and his/her entire family ... for life.
4. Ship within your own country - period. No international sales. Any potential customer fool enough to inquire about getting an exception should be put firmly in his/her place.
5. Include lots of blinking, dancing, scrolling, flashing and dazzling graphics. Don't want those buyers to be able to think coherently. Also, very busy backgrounds should add to the overall effect of disorientation. Loud music is the best, though - wakes those people right up!
6. If you actually use photos (and we're saying this is a bad idea) they must be fuzzy, dark, and tiny. Be sure to take them so that they obscure any defects. This will provide you with an out in the event of an overly picky buyer.
7. The briefer your product description, the better for you. Leave lots of wiggle room in case there is a dispute about the item afterwards. Too much detail can hang you. Besides, what the buyer doesn't know won't hurt you. Them maybe, but not you.
8. Should you get any inquiries about your auction, wait at least 4 days before you respond. Then be sure your response conveys your irritation with the buyer and is not particularly helpful. Only a moron would ask a question of you anyway.
9. Never, ever, include any definitive S&H (shipping and handling) charges. It leaves the door open for gouging. This way you can start your bidding at one penny and make it up on the S&H. Right?
10. Key word spamming is the order of the day. Doesn't matter why you get your auction into the buyers' search results, just do it! Once the deceived seeker clicks on your auction, you've hooked them. The 9 other hints above should help you reel him in. Feel free to contact me for more helpful hints....although I might not answer you for a spell....and my answers might be surly to boot. Besides, if these 10 ideas are enough help, then you just aren't trying very hard.
About the Author
madorman is a veteran of on-line auctioning who specializes in books, martial arts gear and business and industrial equipment.